Andres, 12, boat skipper
(Jaypee, 17, volunteer tour guide at Callao Cave)
I want to believe that there’s so much things going on in my life right now. But in reality, the uncomfortable realization is that if I pause to reflect, there’s not much in there. Nonetheless, I would still claim that this series of nonappearances at home and constant absenteeism in my normal life has contributed to what I am becoming. (Please let me think that I am in transition- if not into someone that I aspire to be, at least into a decent person).
Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to see things or meet great people along the way. I let myself be clouded with my insecurities or with my crippling fear to face failure. Perhaps, I am scared to admit that I am happy- that I am already contented with my current status because if I do, I am letting myself let go of something vital to pursue more than this. I fear that If the world knows that I am happy, it will persistently grab my happiness away from me. As they say, the best way to keep your valuables is to hide it from people. Maybe that’s a wrong way to think about the world.
I would love to share more about this 18-day disappearance but I’m lacking wisdom for a deeper introspection right now. Or maybe, this is okay because I read that the act of introspection is counterproductive- which is true most of the time.
This trip made me think of what Anna Oposa said in one of the episodes of The Coffee Break:
"Being in the government is challenging but also very fun. It makes you see things that can be done to improve it further."
and it makes you love the Philippines even more. PH is not all about ugly politics and corruption, beyond these, there is so much beauty we need to protect.
Jaye: I’m a non-winner
Bianca: By choice. You’re the prototypical Gen-Y-er. You represent a generation of y-young people who’ve been b-blessed with education and opportunity and who just don’t fall through the cracks b-but jump through.
Tags: #greetings from wonderfalls
While their lives may appear aimless and desultory, there’s nothing random about the choices Gen-Y non-winner makes…
….everything they do is for a single purpose— to avoid engaging with the world around them…
Subject is reluctant to make eye contact with children or elderly
Subject routinely affects slight slouch and subtle sneer which seems designed to repel others..
I’ve been trying to tell you things lately but I can’t gain enough mind composure to write about something. Honestly, I just missed sharing here. So I’ll try to rummage through my mundane life (or through my phone because even though I hate to admit it, somehow, my phone is an extension of myself) for a little bit trace of scintillating moment- or not even.
Aside from fighting Monster Insecurity every waking day, my life has been pretty uneventful lately. Some days, I would intentionally feed Monster Insecurity- I guess, that’s what idle minds do sometimes.
(from L to R: Sarah, Nica, Ly, Me)
I am twentysomething with only half-finished beer bottles- yes, I was never been drunk in my entire life. But sorry to disappoint those who have been cheering “live a little”, I still hold the Never-Been-Drunk title. Nevertheless, I’d like to believe that after this night, I came back slightly changed~
Behind the scenes.
I like taking photos of people taking photos. People are always interested to know what’s behind the scene because they believe that it frames the truthful shots. Actually, behind the scenes are just the funnier version.
Crafts by PWDs.
I am currently part of an NGO that helps PWDs. COFFI’s team of artists with disabilities exhibit their arts and crafts at the COFFI GALLERY located at the 2/F Lifestyle Center located conveniently upstairs from the pearls in the Greenhills Shopping Center.
Apparently, jeepneys are not PWD-friendly vehicle (yet). And this is how society makes people more disabled than they are.
Inside the closed.
That was a tempting oxymoron. This is an art piece inside the Sining Kamalig Gallery located in Ali Mall. Temporarily, World Activity Philippines is using the space as an office until its reopening sometime this year.
It is like we hoarded these beautiful art pieces for our own consumption. And I like the thought of going to a place inaccessible to the public.
Atomic Lessons from Quarter Life Crisis episode of Coffee Break.
Atom on committing office blunders: “hoy alam mo, just shut up. Makinig ka nalang. Take in what’s constructive and throw out what’s not” and this is the type of quote that I will invisibly frame up in my work station.
So, that’s how I’m surviving the lull of adulthood.
After school, I felt like finding relevant learning resources is already within the scope of my responsibilities. See, adult life entails a lot of responsibilities: you have to pay the bills, to work everyday, to impress your boss, to nod to the opinions of your seniors, to identify opportunities for growth and to develop new skills. At least now, we get to create the syllabus- skipping irrelevant and yawn-inducing topics.
Roja and our productive art table
Last month, Roja and I decided to join the Scribble Workshop, it is a three-hour calligraphy workshop for beginners held at Le Creperie, New Manila.
Remember Steve Jobs’ Stanford commencement address? He revealed that he took calligraphy classes which helped him designed the typography of Mac. Well, that contributed to my drive to take calligraphy classes (Yes, I took Steve Jobs’ calligraphy story quite literally).
First attempts are rarely perfect.
I think 20-somethings should invest in their selves first before anything else. It’s the decade for youthful experimentation- to find out what you can do or what you are good at even if you’re just messing around.
I don’t want to be that someone who only knows how to perform well at her daily job (not that I am saying I do). It is equivalent to “you’re just good at school but other than that, you know nothing”. I think it would be nice to bounce between your daily job and other-than-work stuff that you think you can be good at.
Class picture #1
Class picture # 2
Austein Kleon wrote:
Take time to mess around. Get lost. Wander. You never know where it’s going to lead you
I’ve been in a nexus of adventures lately which I failed to (publicly) document because of the lack of words that I could muster to describe the experience. Until now, I am still scared to ruin these adventures by putting it into words.
I am currently involved in a marine-related project which made it possible for me to meet a variety of extremely cute species- both underwater and land-based (including homo sapiens!). Our team has been travelling to destinations where marine wildlife interaction serves as its primary tourist attraction.
First marine friend: Pawikan/ Sea Turtle (Morong, Bataan)
Here’s their story:
- Sea turtles are photophilic organisms- they use the natural light as guide to find the sea from their nest
- Sea turtles’ memories are imprinted with a magnetic map on the sandy beach where they return to the same site decades later to repeat their nesting ritual
- In 1000 hatchlings, only 1 survives to sexual maturity
Second Marine Friend: Whale Shark/ Butanding (Oslob, Cebu and Donsol, Sorsogon)
Whale shark interaction in Oslob, Cebu. (photo courtesy of Sarah)
Whale sharks in Oslob are being “lured” through food (called provisioning) to predict their presence in a given area to facilitate interaction with tourists. This raises number of issues since whale sharks are supposed to be wild animals and shouldn’t be fed.
Whale shark interaction in Donsol, Sorsogon. (Left to right: Toni, Don B, BIO, Sally, Ale, Me)
In search of whale sharks in the sea of Donsol. Unlike in Oslob, whale shark sightings in Donsol depend on your luck. They don’t feed the whale sharks to facilitate the interaction- tourists visit them in their natural habitat. And in my opinion, it was more fun!
Divers from the team get to see thresher sharks in Malapascua and manta rays in Ticao Pass, Masbate. Which calls for the need to invest in a diving course!! But anyway, I hope to meet the dolphins of Puerto Princesa and Dugongs of Coron next month!
So is this entry about Lasagna? No. But to justify my title, I will share my weird analogy.
A good friend is like a well-prepared lasagna. For most pasta dishes, you just have to put everything together, mix them in and then serve. Lasagna is not the same, you have to make alternate layers of the…
So, it’s a new year which means a chance of trying again to change ourselves into someone better. Every new year, I ask myself why do I need to wait for the year to change to set goals or even decide to launch a new image of myself (yay, commercial personality) when I can do it in any random day. Perhaps, change shouldn’t be random. And there’s something about the freshness of new calendars that inspire people to begin again.
As for 2014, my theme for the year is INVEST
INVEST FREE THINGS
As one of my cousins said “fall in love, it is one of the few free things that you can enjoy” to which I simply replied “Ewww”.
On a serious note, yes, I intend to invest more (positive) feelings this year. Not that I’m saying “Hey, I’ll fall in love this year” because falling in love shouldn’t be planned. What I’m trying to say here is I’m going to be more involved (w/ outpouring feelings) and connected to things (or even people) that matter.
They say we must take advantage of the free things and a lot of things on the internet are free! So I’ll commit to downloading and (pirating) more TV shows, movies, and e-books. I also enrolled to coursera.org and planning to finish at least 3 short courses by the end of the year.
And of course, there are also free things offline- like talking to people. I am terrible at talking to new people (or if I ever talk to new people at all) and my current world forces me to talk to a broad spectrum of people. Maybe I can start with pathetically preparing a list of possible topics for small talks.
2014, please make me beloved.
INVEST MORE EFFORT
at work. (yay. I hate using the word “work” because it is an adult word and I’m not ready for adulthood).
and effort to be nicer. Yes. I am nice- timidly nice though and it is not the kind of nice that I want to be. By now, I am well aware that there are adults who aren’t nice at all and I don’t want to grow old and be like them. And the best way to defeat them is to treat them nicely even though they don’t deserve it. (hashtag hugot)
DO NOT JUST SAVE, INVEST
I don’t wanna work for someone for the rest of my liiiiife, do you? While I still have the energy to earn money, might as well think about where I can invest it so it will grow exponentially. HAHA.
INVEST IN THINGS THAT I DON’T KNOW
No. I don’t mean blind investment in a business venture but to invest time to know things that are unknown to me. That sounded too profound for execution but it is as simple as reading a book on gardening. I plan to have a metaphorical boner for knowledge. As Gordy of The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian said “the world, even the smallest parts of it, is filled with things that you don’t know.”
I hate it when a paralyzing fear of failure prevents me from knowing things. So for this year, I will approach all possibility of learning even with threatening failure with a game face.
INVEST IN CREATIVITY
I think the word creativity is being monopolized by artists but it shouldn’t be the case. For this year, no matter how much I suck at writing or at taking photos, or at formulating and articulating my opinions, I won’t let it stop me from transforming my ideas to a hard copy.
Phew. I think this is a lot. But then I can always try again next year, right?Tags: #2014 #new year
This year, I felt like I’ve been— lesser but not necessarily lacking. Although I can’t say that I am complete because it is something that you say when you’re in love. 2013 was a year where I took lesser photos in comparison to my vain and younger self years ago, tweeted and posted lesser feelings because I wasn’t having enough feelings or not enough mental capacity to process feelings, made lesser online and human interactions, watched lesser TV Series, and read lesser books. Maybe this is maturity~. I always think about maturity as ignoring a lot of things or even people as you are so self-assured and actualized that nothing can bother you anymore. But of course, this is a thinking of an amateur adult.
I always love January that I wouldn’t have seconds thoughts on marrying someone who was named after this month. I celebrated my birthday with new people, had my first job which also meant first salary!!
But this is also my favorite Trish-Syd Wedding photo
This month is known for L.O.V.E which is true for my cousin Trish and her then-boyfriend Sydney who got married last February. I also started a tutoring job for the love of
MARCH to APRIL
I finally had the balls to take a photo with Oble without the fear of not being able to graduate. (Obviously, Oble’s balls have been perpetually present)
March and April were uneventful except for officially marching out from school which was also very anticlimactic. But at least, I have new people added to my circle.
We are the type of employees who pull out photoshoot during office hours.
I decided to leave my job because it was meant to be a temporary job while I am figuring out what I’ll do for the rest of my life. But I didn’t leave because I already figured out what to do, all I knew was that I wanted to get out from it so I left while I still want to. Maybe I was too flighty- I take off when it’s not so much fun anymore. Of course, I had fun too.
JUNE to JULY
I was out of the work force- I was salaryless but I was having a liiiiife~. I felt like I was in control of my time, in control of my life. No one can ever force me to do something just because they are paying me.
Top and bottom left: Poro Point, La Union. Top right: Subic, Zambales. Bottom right: 50’s Diner in Baguio.
My aunt from U.S came back home which meant month long family gathering. It was also my Daddylakay’s 80th birthday so again, FAMILEH PAAARTY. I don’t know whose idea it was to have a family reunion shirt but yeah, we have a family shirt.
Behind the scene of that pretentious nice family photo.
Feeling grown up and brave, I decided that I am old enough for the Space Shuttle. (ooops. wrong photo though)
In between family gatherings, I also went out with some friends~. See, having no work means a healthier social calendar!
AUGUST to OCTOBER
Here, the episodic WHY-AM-I-JOBLESS-AM-I-THAT-INCOMPETENT started. Went to job interviews and received tons of rejection letters yet I kept on sending my precious resume (because I had no other choice but to go on). It kills me to think that some of my friends are earning and growing corporately yet I was rotting in bed all day wasting my could-have-been-paid time.
Phew. Then came November and employment!!! I don’t wanna bore you with timid newbie stories.
First travel for work!! I was the youngest so.. it was a little bit awkward mainly because I don’t know how to initiate small talks; how much more a conversation? Fortunately, Facebook is for all ages.
Yay because it was an all- expense-paid trip to a beautiful property but nay because no one will take photos of me.
And of course, Christmas.
Nonetheless, I would say that 2013 was a good year (because people like to look at the past with good memories). And I look forward to an aweeesome 2014 (because people should look at the future with positivity)
I’ve been out of tumblr for almost two months but not really cutoff from the consumption of the internet. I don’t even know if it is still possible to completely abandon the internet now or to possibly want to abandon it.
It is embarrassing how long since I’ve updated this page that is why it’s been hard for me to go back here and say things about anything (most likely about ~my life). I think the downside of having a page dedicated to your own personal experiences is the fact that there are things in life that are better consumed privately or when your life becomes so mundane and mechanical, it’s hard to even put it in words.
But I’ll try to continue to document some of my life (or a living life) here because it’s nice to read back and to have something that will help me remember feelings.