one.four.three. i blog you.

Thank you, Tit! for the ambush, the cake, this, and everything. You’re just steps away but I can’t thank you without sounding so…quite baduy so better write my thank you post here. HAHAHA. Don’t ever let anybody break your heart. If ANYBODY=last year’s object of obsession, well, then, I won’t let ANYBODY break my heart anymore. HAHAHA. Charcharchar

And yes, guys, I am ugleh in the morning! But I’m 20 so I won’t waste much time complaining about my appearance anymore. Embrace physical appearance = maturity. HAHAHA. I hope that equation is correct.

kebe:

I missed greeting my lovely cousin L @what-els for her birthday on the day - the 13th - itself! I’m sorry, L! Lemme make it up to you by posting online again this photo of you from that early morning I ambushed you and made you blow your cake with your morning breath!! Hahaha! We love you, L! You’re much cooler now that that you’re part of the twenteensomething crowd! A usually-ignored piece of advice worth repeating: Don’t ever let anybody break your heart lol

Finally, Adulthood.

Urgh. I’m an adult now ( i don’t even know If it’s a good thing or not. Well, I hope, yes) I can legitimately use that “Matanda na ako” as a retaliation to my parents’ interrogations. Don’t worry, I promise to use it only when necessary. So that also means that I am no longer a teen, the “I’m sorry, I’m a teen and I have the right to be whinny and angst-y” excuse is no longer applicable. Whenever tempted to rant all I want about tiny-bitsy things that are not even considered as problems, I should be reminded that I am already 20 and that I’ve been doing all the rantings and complaining for the past 20 years. Maybe, that was enough. It’s time for maturity to reign.

Thank you to all people who remembered! Or those people that I obligated to remember it. :)) I’m not usually a birthday-type of girl but I think parting ways with the teen-age is making me quite emotional and melodramatic.

PS. I know this post is late for days!! HAHA.

(Photo by Aaron)

I’ll stay tall for you, Mon! haha. Thank you for waiting for so looooong that you were able to write a mala-MMK letter to narrate how loooong you’ve been waiting for my class to finish just so you can greet me.

I love you, Mon!!!

moniqueflorendo:

3 hours and 30 minutes advance. I miss you L! Thank you for everything :) Happy birthday! I love you! 

L for loner.

HOW TO BE ALONE

by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there.

There’s also the gym. If you’re shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).

And there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there’s prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you’re hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they — like you — will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You’re no less intriguing a person when you’re eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching…because, they’re probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there’re always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might’ve never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one’s in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school’s groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you’re happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It’s okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach.

And it doesn’t mean you’re not connected, that communitie’s not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn’t get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

Remember when I told everyone here that I’ll be saving money for the year 2011? Project 2011. I wanna be rich! 

End product: Not a single penny in my cash reserve.

I ended up poorer, but I guess, happier and wiser. Money spent for fueling my impulsive buying, purchasing my temporary happiness, and sometimes just so I can get rid of it. So here I say, NO REGRETS. I still have a promising 2012, with more money, endless opportunities, and happiness, I hope. 

As one of my friends told me, “Persevere, Lendl. All good things come at some cost.”

But, still,.. you’re the best.

Annual inbox cleaning.

It’s 20k12, new year, fresh start. It’s the time we attempt to alter ourselves as we change the calendars.  Let us start with unloading some unnecessary stuff that we’ve been carrying around for quite some time. Tadaahh. First target: Phone’s inbox. There’s really nothing interesting in my inbox, a number of send to all messages from my crush, (in which not a single message was directly addressed to me. But I still keep them anyway. Urgh. Do I need to explain why?? Duh!) plenty of text brig from my orgs (which I don’t really give a damn sometimes), and of course, reminders from my great Mom e.i “galingan sa buhay”, “uminom ng vitamins”, “wag magpuyat” blahblahdibladiblah.. I might have carelessly obliterated everything not until I came across this text message from my former not-really-crush-but-something-like-that-but-less-all-the-pagnanasa.

He said I am the best (or I was). And I don’t care if he meant it or not (I don’t even want to know as evidences would surely lead into negative results). But I believed him because he has a good reputation plus I find my sincerity detector quite reliable. HAHA. Anyway, the point here is that it’s nice when someone thinks you’re great/best or someone who matters and capable of doing something relevant. Maybe, not so many people think of me that way (cause I do extremely irrelevant and stupid things and I am usually noncaring person aka I am too self-absorbed, I don’t pursue the greater good) that’s why I have to save these kind of messages to remind me that I can be best.